Ya Herd

A sheep and a cow were grazing. They lived on a farm in Kentucky, but it felt more like New Hampshire. 

"You do everything wrong." The cow said this, but the sheep didn't move. The sheep kept grazing. The cow continued. "You can't sit still." The sheep knew the cow was right about this one, so the sheep kept grazing. "You're a hypocrite," said the cow. The sheep knew the sheep was but didn't like that title. This forced the sheep to stop grazing. 

"I'll get there," said the sheep, but the sheep didn't know how. The sheep kicked a few blades of grass off to the side. 

"Look me in the eyes please," the cow asked politely.

"Okay, cow. I am." The sheep was. 

"You don't talk with me like you do with the other sheeps."

"I know. I've realized."

"Realized what?"

"I don't talk with you like I do with my fellow sheeps."

"Will you change that?"

"Not right now."

"Why not?"

"You just don't feel like a sheep when I talk to you. I feel uncomfortable."

"You don't have to talk to just sheep. I'm a nice cow."

"You are a nice cow."  The sheep to a big mouthful of grass. It had rained just hours ago, and the blades were still wet, so it had that fresh wet grass smell. The sheep thought it made the taste even better. 

"I don't want to talk to you if this is all you'll talk about," said the cow to the sheep. 

"I know. I just. Well. I guess I just wish I was a cow."

"You can be a cow."

"I'm a sheep."

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter if you're a cow or I'm a cow. We're really all just pigs."

"Why is that?" The sheep barfed up some grass. It happens to the sheep sometimes. It is not normal, but the sheep doesn't have health care, and he hasn't seen a doctor in some time. 

"We're all just hanging around. We're all just exploring. We're all just looking for something to do. And looking for someone to do things with."

"Like pigs."

"We are pigs."

"I like eating grass alone."

"Maybe you just don't like eating grass with cows."

"You're a pig like me."

"And you're a hypocrite."