I'm Fine

I never liked my neighbor
When he spit on me, I hated him more
He still wants to shake my hand
I still want to call him a whore

Now when I walk
I pretend I’m on the phone
I wear a mask for the spit
I hope he dies alone
 
It’s been quite hard
To be home and eat Chips Ahoy
And I keep getting spam emails
From the Dallas Cowboys
 
I don’t know what they want
I don’t live in Dallas
So I delete the emails
And pour more wine into my chalice
 
Is this a time to reflect?
Or is this a time to get fat?
It’s a time to get drunk daily
It’s a time to yell at my cat
 
In solitude I have learned
That 3 naps a day is fine
But take out the trash and do the dishes?
That is where I draw the line
 
People call me and say hello
They ask how I am, I say that I’m fine
But little do they know
I’m lying on the floor with my chalice of wine
 
No. I’m not an alcoholic
Please, do not be a jerk
I’m just a growing boy
And my habits are just a fun quirk
 
People are being productive
Well, honestly so am I
I’ve drank through every hangover
And now I'm getting high
 
Now's the time to learn a language
Now's the time to learn guitar
But really there’s no time like the present
To eat some shrooms and then pee on a car
 
It's better than spending my time
Glued to my phone, head down
Instead, I’m snorting some good stuff
And for some reason I'm wearing a wedding gown
 
Its 9AM and it's time for bed
But in quarantine, the party never stops
Yes, I may have lost all my friends
But now no one’s around to call the cops